This weekend my cousin got getting married. As I pack for his wedding, I am reminded of the sermon preached at my wedding. While many of the details of my wedding are a blur, I remember the sermon. The lessons of that sermon are good for marriage and for all of life. The pastor, Rev. Richard Stetler, said that we should remember three “C”s for a good marriage. The three “C”s are: commitment, Christ, and communication.
Communication is essential to any relationship, especially marriage. So often we think that communication is getting our message heard and understood by the other party. A large part of communication is understanding the message that is being sent to us. Can we move beyond the poor attitude to hear what is really being said. When one spouse is complaining because of the others work hours, can the underlying need for attention or loneliness be heard? Do you know what kind of support is most helpful to your partner? Yes, you know what you would like, but have you paid enough attention to your spouse to know what he or she needs?
Commitment is often lacking in our world today, but it is needed to have a successful marriage. Do you stay committed to your relationships, or do you walk away when they become difficult, uncomfortable, or boring? Commitment means that you stay and have the difficult conversations, you stay when things are at a low point, and you invest yourself in the relationship. We are a society that is quick to turn away from relationships that become difficult or uncomfortable, but a marriage is a lifetime commitment.
Finally, Christ should be a part of marriage. Prayer should be a part of your life together. You should pray for those you care about. Spending time together in God’s presence should be something that is a part of your marriage. We celebrate Christian marriage because we believe that this is a relationship which God blesses. God will strengthen our marriage, if we allow God to be a part of the relationship.
Marriage is a relationship that takes two people working together on the relationship as well as on themselves to make things work. It is also a relationship that needs God at the center helping the individuals be their best selves. Congratulations to the newlyweds, and may we all remember the three “C”s.