One of the blessings of my life is to be around lots of people who are very different from me. A recent conversation highlighted this experience. There were several women discussing the men in their lives. In particular they were discussing how we women dress or encourage the significant men in our lives to dress. These women told me that they try to encourage the men in their lives to dress in an unattractive way so that other women are not attracted to “their” men.
Really? I thought they were making this up. They assured me that this is what they do. I occasionally give my husband advice on which tie to wear with a particular shirt, but I never thought about his appearance in these terms. I want him to present himself in the best possible light. It never occurred that his clothing would draw or detract unwanted attention. In fact, I thought about this conversation for several days. I came to several conclusions.
We have to choose if we are going to trust people in our lives. Yes, some people will violate our trust. Yes, we will be taking a chance; however, are we supposed to be risking something ourselves in our significant relationships? Don’t we want to trust the men (or women) in our lives to act appropriately? I’m choosing to celebrate how beautiful and attractive people in my life are. I want them to look their best. If others find them attractive, then that is fine. I’m choosing to trust those I hold dear to behave appropriately.
I also decided that our world is becoming a more distrustful place. We wonder at the motive and intent of most people. What is she looking at? What does he want? Does she mean what she is saying? Is he telling me the truth? My prayer is that people find church to be a place of trust. A place where others are honest with us, sharing their hearts and lives with us. It is not easy to create an atmosphere of trust, but it is something that the world needs. We need a place where we can believe the words others speak and know that their actions are truthful.